no longer silenced movement

Empowering Child Abuse Survivors and Promoting Awareness

Month: May, 2015

The Rare but Potentially Fatal Abuse Nobody Cares About

I don’t know if you heard the story, but last year Boston Children’s Hospital suffered a lot of backlash after flagging a case as medical child abuse, which would result in the state taking the child away. Last year, I read a post that Boston Children’s wrote addressing the issue, and the comments were flooded with harsh negativity. People said they were awful, cruel, and despicable doctors trying to rip a child away from their parents.

Is that what people think? Do people automatically assume the parents have done no harm, and that the person taking their child away from their abusive custody is cruel? The case was difficult because medical child abuse is probably the easiest to cover up, and it is the least looked for abuse in children.

The case all started when Justina Pelletier, a 14 year old girl, was brought in by her parents to Boston for the treatment of mitochondrial disease. Mitochondrial disease, is not very common, it’s symptoms are not very unique, and it is potentially fatal if left untreated. The problem wasn’t only that it’s difficult to diagnose, but no formal test was done, called the “hallmark of mitochondrial disorders” by the diagnosing Doctor from Tufts Mark Korson. Besides the sketchy lack of tests and research done into her symptoms, mitochondrial disease is known as the go-to disease to medical child abusers.

For not having a clear and confirmed diagnosis, it’s important to note that prior to this, she already faced extreme surgeries. The 14 year old, never tested for a disease, already had a permanent port surgically implanted into her stomach to flush out her digestive system, a common problem of those suffering child medical abuse. Many were upset about the stance Boston Children’s took on the childs case, including the original diagnostician, saying they’re extremely intrusive.

They pulled the child away from her parents, the accused abusers, and prevented contact from them. What may seem extreme to the outside, how would you feel if it were a confirmed medical abuse case? You’d be praising the doctors for stepping in and insuring the safety of that child, while still working to get her well.

All abuse is important, and any suspicions should always be reported. Nothing is more painful than a child stuck in an abusive home.

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Emotions Behind Abuse

When asked how she felt right before she left her abuser on http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2013/03/quotes-on-abuse-from-survivors/ ….”Guilt, relief, and pity. I told myself there was nothing else I could do for him, because he would either kill me or I’d kill myself before I even graduated high school.” ~Alexandra

People who look at abuse on the outside, can’t understand how people endure it for so long. They can’t understand why victims feel guilt, about the world gaining knowledge that someone they loved and looked up to, is an abuser. The world is not black and white, and abuse is not so simple. Outsiders might see it as weakness, but I assure you, it’s not.

The reason a victim feels the way they do comes from a number of things, but they have a much better understanding on what goes on in the human mind than you think. They understand concepts you have to experience to even consider. They see their abuser, and they realize, there’s something wrong with them, and they need help. More times than not, an abuser has been abused themselves, and the vicious cycle grows and continue to mark an ugly family tradition.

It’s not to make an excuse for their abuser, or any abuser…in life we all have experiences that lead us to decisions, and no matter what it is that happened to us, we make that decision, and will be the ones to face the consequences of that decision. To be clear, I’m not writing this in the hopes that an outsider will understand, though I wish they would…I’m instead, writing this for any and all victims of abuse. If you’ve ever felt pathetic or weak based on society’s opinion, I’m here to tell you, you’re not. Never for a second, forget that you’re anything but strong and courageous, and people around the World do understand you. You’re never alone in this.