Not Just Survivors

As a survivor, you can change the world. You can motivate people again and again, and encourage them to do good with their lives. Survivors can do phenomenal work, but that’s not enough for the World. It cannot just be survivors who care. It cannot just be loved ones of victims. We need all the help we can get, including people outside of the tragedy that is Child Abuse.

According to statistics provided by childhelp.org, 4-7 children die each day to child abuse. While all child deaths are tragic, we hear about children dying in hot cars, averaging a few dozen a year, when child abuse loses 1,460-2,555 a year, yet they never make national news. We need to care more, and we cannot do it alone

The Rare but Potentially Fatal Abuse Nobody Cares About

I don’t know if you heard the story, but last year Boston Children’s Hospital suffered a lot of backlash after flagging a case as medical child abuse, which would result in the state taking the child away. Last year, I read a post that Boston Children’s wrote addressing the issue, and the comments were flooded with harsh negativity. People said they were awful, cruel, and despicable doctors trying to rip a child away from their parents.

Is that what people think? Do people automatically assume the parents have done no harm, and that the person taking their child away from their abusive custody is cruel? The case was difficult because medical child abuse is probably the easiest to cover up, and it is the least looked for abuse in children.

The case all started when Justina Pelletier, a 14 year old girl, was brought in by her parents to Boston for the treatment of mitochondrial disease. Mitochondrial disease, is not very common, it’s symptoms are not very unique, and it is potentially fatal if left untreated. The problem wasn’t only that it’s difficult to diagnose, but no formal test was done, called the “hallmark of mitochondrial disorders” by the diagnosing Doctor from Tufts Mark Korson. Besides the sketchy lack of tests and research done into her symptoms, mitochondrial disease is known as the go-to disease to medical child abusers.

For not having a clear and confirmed diagnosis, it’s important to note that prior to this, she already faced extreme surgeries. The 14 year old, never tested for a disease, already had a permanent port surgically implanted into her stomach to flush out her digestive system, a common problem of those suffering child medical abuse. Many were upset about the stance Boston Children’s took on the childs case, including the original diagnostician, saying they’re extremely intrusive.

They pulled the child away from her parents, the accused abusers, and prevented contact from them. What may seem extreme to the outside, how would you feel if it were a confirmed medical abuse case? You’d be praising the doctors for stepping in and insuring the safety of that child, while still working to get her well.

All abuse is important, and any suspicions should always be reported. Nothing is more painful than a child stuck in an abusive home.

Emotions Behind Abuse

When asked how she felt right before she left her abuser on http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2013/03/quotes-on-abuse-from-survivors/ ….”Guilt, relief, and pity. I told myself there was nothing else I could do for him, because he would either kill me or I’d kill myself before I even graduated high school.” ~Alexandra

People who look at abuse on the outside, can’t understand how people endure it for so long. They can’t understand why victims feel guilt, about the world gaining knowledge that someone they loved and looked up to, is an abuser. The world is not black and white, and abuse is not so simple. Outsiders might see it as weakness, but I assure you, it’s not.

The reason a victim feels the way they do comes from a number of things, but they have a much better understanding on what goes on in the human mind than you think. They understand concepts you have to experience to even consider. They see their abuser, and they realize, there’s something wrong with them, and they need help. More times than not, an abuser has been abused themselves, and the vicious cycle grows and continue to mark an ugly family tradition.

It’s not to make an excuse for their abuser, or any abuser…in life we all have experiences that lead us to decisions, and no matter what it is that happened to us, we make that decision, and will be the ones to face the consequences of that decision. To be clear, I’m not writing this in the hopes that an outsider will understand, though I wish they would…I’m instead, writing this for any and all victims of abuse. If you’ve ever felt pathetic or weak based on society’s opinion, I’m here to tell you, you’re not. Never for a second, forget that you’re anything but strong and courageous, and people around the World do understand you. You’re never alone in this.

Day 13, 14, & 15 of the 21 Day Survivor Challenge

Day 13- What book has inspired you and made a positive impact on your life and why?

Day 14- Has there been a fictional survivor (from any experience, not necessarily a fictional child abuse story) that has helped you to heal, or that is a “fictional role model” to you?

Day 15- Write a letter, not one to send, to your abuser, what have you always wanted to say to them? What do you think you could say that will help you to get closure?

Day 10, 11, and 12 of the 21 Day Challenge

Congratulations, you’re half way through!

Day 10- Who was your ultimate role model as a child and why?

Day 11- Does your role model from your childhood still inspire you today, and has your reasoning for that changed?

Day 12- What made you realize you finally needed to take steps towards recovery?

I hope you’re enjoying the questions, and answering them as if you’re the only one that’ll ever read it, in order to make it more effective. Don’t forget, feel free to keep your answers to yourself but if you’d like to share via your own blog ENTER THE TAG 21 day survivor challenge

Thanks for reading!

Day 4, 5, & 6 of The Survivor 21 Day Challenge

I hope the first three days you’ve felt a little bit more positivity flowing to surpass the lows. Here’s Day 4, 5, and 6. Remember this challenge is for you. It’s to remind you how incredible you are. You’ve gone through something traumatic, something that can easily lead you down a dark path, and even if it did at one point…you’re here now, and that matters. Never stop being proud of yourself.

Day 4: Write one thing you wish you could change about your past, preferably your youth, and think of something you can do to actually work towards that change now.

Day 5: What is the best experience you’ve had since you realized that you’re a survivor?

Day 6: What would you tell someone experiencing the abuse you’ve already endured?

Thank you for your efforts in expressing yourself in such a personal way!

Progress: The No Longer Silenced Movement

In case you’re behind, our founder Nicolette has been hard at work since her big move to Texas and starting Graduate School. While maintaining a busy schedule, she’s continued to manage building and improving the No Longer Silenced Movement, in the hopes of creating easy outlets to help abused children, or an individual whose been abused, feel comfortable coming forward.

Within this text, she found inspiration to add to the pilot site, helping foster youth find means to an education, but also developing a means for all survivors of abuse to find the resources capable of helping them be admitted to school.

She also had a successful first meeting with with our new adviser, in San Angelo, Texas, at the small business development center. Moving forward from this meeting, and with the help of our new adviser, we can begin writing and compiling a business plan, as well as work through the process of completing our trademark.

Most recently, Nicolette completed a second No Longer Silenced Movement Binder. One is focused on how to develop the organization in Texas, thanks to Peggy Rosser at the small business development center. The other, a collection of all the work completed by the No Longer Silenced Movement so far, including events, and media appearances.

“Faith is why I…

“Faith is why I’m here today and faith is why I made it through.”

-Jonathan Anthony Burkett

We can’t go through life thinking that if we’ve been let down before, it will continue. No Longer Silenced Movement is a way to remind those who have been abused of this. You should never lose faith in yourself. You have to have faith that you can overcome anything. It’ okay to lose your way sometimes…we all do that…but just remember that you survived from abuse, you will get through everything. Whenever we attempt to accomplish a goal, we come across road blocks. While we’re at these road blocks alls we can see is how many more road blocks we need to make it through, how much more time it’ll take, how much more work it’ll take, but we rarely look back and consider our progress. Very few times do we take a minute to think of all of the roadblocks we’ve already overcome…very few times do we look back and see how much work we’ve already done and how much we’ve already accomplished. You have to be able to remember all that you’ve done, if you’ve taken even one step in the right direction…you’ve done something great! You can achieve your goal if you keep doing everything you’ve done to make the first step. If you take the first step to get help, or talk to people who were also abused, you’ve accomplished something big. You’ve taken a huge step to help yourself…keep going in the right direction and never lose faith.

“In the United …

“In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults.”

-Thomas Szasz

Every Child deserves to have a childhood. When a child is abused, they’re robbed of that chance. Every child is innocent, and should be careless, and have fun, have an imagination, and dream like a kid is supposed to. We don’t realize that every action we display to a child has an affect on how they’ll grow. The most misbehaved of children, are the ones who need love the most, not the most punishment, and then they will grow into loving and caring adults. Love, motivate, and inspire your children and you’ll be forever grateful of the beauty they’ll give off to the world. They won’t be perfect, but that’s okay, because they’re children. Never forget to let them enjoy being children.

Why You Should Wear Blue Tomorrow, April 4th

Tomorrow is Wear Blue Day!

Wear blue tomorrow to support Child Abuse Prevention. Children without a voice, too young to defend themselves, need people like you to wear blue tomorrow. It’s simple, it’s subtle, but it means so much to kids that feel like nobody is on their side. The more people that follow through, the more recognized prevention efforts will be, and the more support we will get to stop child abuse nationwide. Child Abuse is so often looked over, whether it be in homes, foster care or social workers simply not following through with the work they’re meant to do to help…this day provides us with the opportunity to grow numbers representing our cause.

 

Do what you can for a child tomorrow, wear the color blue, or a blue ribbon, and if anybody asks share with them that it’s to support child abuse prevention, the kinds of abuse, and that not all abuse is seen with the naked eye. If you don’t feel comfortable with your knowledge of child abuse, look through our blog, and share your knowledge of our organization focusing on ending abuse and empowering survivors.