no longer silenced movement

Empowering Child Abuse Survivors and Promoting Awareness

Tag: family

For The Summers Stuck At Home

A lot of use can’t wait for the summer to come. Warmer weather, vacations, the beach; the season is made for relaxing and enjoying yourself…but for the kids, the teens, and the young adults out of school for the summer, they’re anything but relaxed. If you have a loving home and beautiful family to experience your freed up time with, it can be amazing, but for a family that’sw abusive, physically and emotionally…you’re not only miserable but you’re trapped.

You try doing everything you can to get out of the house, hang out with as many friends as you possibly can, despite how broke you are, and fill up your time any way that you can….but at the end of the night, you have to eventually go home. You’re uncomfortable and not happy, worst of all you’re scared, and you start to see pictures of the people you care about with their loving families and the pain feels twice as bad.

You can’t change your family, not really anyway, but you have the chance to change your experiences. Remember, in those dark times, when you’re feeling lost and worthless, when you’ve seen the last happy family picture you can possibly stand…always sit back and remember, you’re not alone. We’re here for you, we have been, and we always will be. No matter what time of day, even if we’re asleep and you can solely read blogs and Nicolette’s book “One”, we’re here, and we’ll do everything we can for you, as soon as we can.

You’re not alone. Your family might not be the ones to comfort you when you’re lost and down, but somebody will always understand you, be compassionate, and will relate to you like you never thought you could relate to somebody before. You have your own “family” no matter what you think.

The Popular Opinion On The Foster Care System

A lot of people judge the foster care system, and say how much it needs to be fixed. It is a broken system, there’s no question about it, but for good reason…. THERE’S SO MANY KIDS IN IT. It’s such an overcrowded system, that many children stay in abusive or unfit homes, because there’s no place for them to go. The foster system might need to be fixed, but what really needs fixing is the people having the children that end up dealing with this pain.

It’s easy to blame a sector of the government for our problems, it seems to be the go-to blame game target, but how much can they really do with that overflow? It would help to have more foster parents, that’s a beautiful thing, and for further education about adopting children that aren’t babies, or “fresh from the mom”. If there’s more outreach about saving a child, at an older age, maybe it will help these kids get adopted, and into permanent loving homes.

Though some people like to ignore this fact, there are so many children without loving homes, and that go through life, never having a loving home. I hope in the next decade the world sees this. That they understand how many kids are born, and then after some time, have no place to go, and nobody tries to adopt. No child should age out of the foster care system. That’s a horrible scenario. Nobody should go on without a family, and go through life never having the luxury of seeing families on the holidays or having parents at that wedding. Don’t forget about the kids that so many continue to forget, they deserve far more love than they’ve gotten.

The Silent Fight In America

Have you ever noticed how many arguments Americans involve themselves in Daily? There’s abortion, race, and the welfare system, oh and immigration, that I see people have everyday. The fight I rarely see? The one about child abuse, advocating for abused children, and foster kids (as a good amount of them come from abusive homes. I’m not saying the people I know advocating against child abuse aren’t doing a good job. Nicolette alone is inspiring people everyday, all while being in graduate school, and a pet owner(which might not seem like a huge commitment, but she treats her dog how I treat mine, and that requires constant attention); but child abuse is one of the few causes that, if you’re not a volunteer or your job doesn’t involve the subject, nobody has an opinion on it.

It’s weird to think how many people have an opinion about every topic, but not this one. It’s as if they don’t see it as a huge deal. If you looking at the statistics in the blogs bio (included by Nicolette via childhelp.org) you see how statistically speaking, those abused are more likely to have a child young, do drugs, and be imprisoned for one reason or another; ironic because those three fall back on everyone’s major problem with the welfare system. Of course there’s many survivors that become empowered by their tragedies, but it’s not easy. It’s hard to overcome abuse in a positive way without support system. When abused children are taken from their homes, they enter foster care…each year, an average of 20,000 kids, age out of foster care, never having a family, this traces back to another argument, about reproduction, but I don’t see anybody jumping forward to adopt the kids who need it most. Is it because they’re no longer babies? Giving a child coming out of a traumatic family home can help them to build this positive atmosphere for themselves, and to never give up, no matter what struggles they face.

Emotional Abuse

Lately, more and more headlines have hit the news about bullies and the impact that words have on a persons mental health. While every child gets insulted a few times, there’s a difference between a one-time insult and taunting mannerisms. We see bullies as the evil, and we only see peers as bullies. With every facet of mental health, we must remember that there are actions that cause hatred, and the bullies might themselves be victims. We don’t think about the bullies as victims, or wonder why they are the way they are, and we also don’t look past a child’s peers for bullies, when they, like their bully, could have an abuse at home.

When people think of bullying, or harmful words being spoken, they fail to differentiate between a random insult vs. harassing constant remarks belittling someones self-worth. While both our bad, this isn’t a perfect world and we have to move forward and accept this to eliminate emotional abuse.

Telling your child “No wonder why you don’t have any friends”, “You need to start losing weight”, “You don’t know anything” and other comments alike carry heavy weight. Even the most confident of victims can either become depressed and want to give up on themselves all together, or can build up their aggression and take it out on others. Either way the situation is sad, and those that hold it in the best still have certain symptoms that you can observe over a period of time and put them together to find that something might be wrong.

Whether a kid shows aggression towards teachers, or students…or keeps to themselves and lacks emotion…and even an outgoing happy person if they keep their distance from their home, or the opposite (wants only friends to come to their home), all are signs that they’re suffering from a confidence issue, most likely instilled by someone they’re surrounded with.

It can be a child, yes, but if you notice odd behavior from a parent, continue to keep an eye out for it. Sadly, when you suspect it and see off-putting behavior, it can be a reality, and you may be presented with the opportunity to help. Even if you go to the school guidance counselor, they can lead you in the right direction. Remember, focus on helping, not what might happen in a negative way if you speak up…it’s always right to speak up…and chances are they’ll be sent to family counseling, giving them the opportunity to improve as parents and a family combined.