no longer silenced movement

Empowering Child Abuse Survivors and Promoting Awareness

Tag: encourage

Emotions Behind Abuse

When asked how she felt right before she left her abuser on http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2013/03/quotes-on-abuse-from-survivors/ ….”Guilt, relief, and pity. I told myself there was nothing else I could do for him, because he would either kill me or I’d kill myself before I even graduated high school.” ~Alexandra

People who look at abuse on the outside, can’t understand how people endure it for so long. They can’t understand why victims feel guilt, about the world gaining knowledge that someone they loved and looked up to, is an abuser. The world is not black and white, and abuse is not so simple. Outsiders might see it as weakness, but I assure you, it’s not.

The reason a victim feels the way they do comes from a number of things, but they have a much better understanding on what goes on in the human mind than you think. They understand concepts you have to experience to even consider. They see their abuser, and they realize, there’s something wrong with them, and they need help. More times than not, an abuser has been abused themselves, and the vicious cycle grows and continue to mark an ugly family tradition.

It’s not to make an excuse for their abuser, or any abuser…in life we all have experiences that lead us to decisions, and no matter what it is that happened to us, we make that decision, and will be the ones to face the consequences of that decision. To be clear, I’m not writing this in the hopes that an outsider will understand, though I wish they would…I’m instead, writing this for any and all victims of abuse. If you’ve ever felt pathetic or weak based on society’s opinion, I’m here to tell you, you’re not. Never for a second, forget that you’re anything but strong and courageous, and people around the World do understand you. You’re never alone in this.

One

One      As many of you know, in a recent post we addressed child abuse survivors and asked them to tell us what has been the most vital steps in recovering from abuse. What many of you might not be aware of, is the founder of the No Longer Silenced Movement, Nicolette Winn, recently self-published her first in a series of books, aiding child abuse survivors, too live fulfilling and empowering lives after their abuse.

This in no way is saying that anyone forgets their abuse, or miraculously forgets about it one day, and the pain ceases to exist…that doesn’t happen. The weight of tragedy and pain, stays with us for the rest of our lives, but it doesn’t mean that we have to let us destroy us.

This book is available on amazon, I’ll attach the link for your convenience, http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00S75J4F2 .

The book is dedicated to Winn’s younger brother, now 7, in hopes that one day they can build a loving sister-brother bond. Throughout writing the novel, our founder was threatened by both her step mother, and mother, yet she somehow found a way to gain the courage to go through with it anyway, and we couldn’t be more proud!

The book, as our post, is directed to finding ways to encourage survivors of abuse. While some might be stuck or trapped in a way that they cannot reveal the contents of the book, the cover is a way to mask what the book may be about. The book is a way to let survivors know, you’re certainly not alone. Everyone’s story is different but together, we can get through anything.

If anyone you know could use the book, recommend it, share it, let people know the contents are out there, and I hope it helps some of you heal, or someone you love recover.

No Socioeconomic Boundaries

I recently wrote on my personal blog and will elaborate here, some things, like emotional disorders, have no socioeconomic boundaries…like Child Abuse, you cannot look at the stats of the quality of someone’s life and conclude whether they struggle and face either of these problems.

As shown in the statistics provided by Childhelp.org, we can conclude that the amount of child abuse survivors facing mental illness is exponentially high compared with most young adults of the same age. The major misconception with mental illness is that we feel someone who is struggling a particular day can tell you exactly what’s wrong, so you can try to fix it, some days your depression and/or anxiety get the best of you and you have no idea why. You hate that woke up, you don’t want to move from bed, you can’t imagine studying, or showing your face at work, you feel numb all over, and a type of cold loneliness, even with someone who loves you unconditionally…today you’ve convinced yourself they don’t…and the worst part of it all, is that you have no idea how to fix it or if you can. The pain can get so bad that is physically hurts to be awake, or sober in a sense, but even when the only thing in the world that you want to do is sleep, you lay there and cry, until you’ve emotionally and physically exhausted yourself to sleep for at least twenty minutes.

It’s not pretty, it’s certainly somebody dealing with the disorders would choose if they had a choice at all, but unfortunately, mental illness is not a choice. It has been romanticized and molded into this thing others assume people decide to pick up one day, like a hobby…but if you truly face these, you probably dream you could wish it away. Mental disorders are a constant battle, so I’m asking you this…if you love somebody who faces these diseases, don’t expect them to give you an outright answer, don’t expect them to go out of their way to talk to you, don’t assume a smile on their face represents a smile in their heart…but be there for them, ask them if they want to talk about it, if not, do what they’d like to do to help themselves. Always encourage therapy, nothing compares to professional help. Go for a walk with them, volunteer at a humane society with them once a week, have an arts and crafts night…anything that you believe will help their well-being, do it, and you’ll be forever grateful you made that decision.