no longer silenced movement

Empowering Child Abuse Survivors and Promoting Awareness

Tag: children

Not Just Survivors

As a survivor, you can change the world. You can motivate people again and again, and encourage them to do good with their lives. Survivors can do phenomenal work, but that’s not enough for the World. It cannot just be survivors who care. It cannot just be loved ones of victims. We need all the help we can get, including people outside of the tragedy that is Child Abuse.

According to statistics provided by childhelp.org, 4-7 children die each day to child abuse. While all child deaths are tragic, we hear about children dying in hot cars, averaging a few dozen a year, when child abuse loses 1,460-2,555 a year, yet they never make national news. We need to care more, and we cannot do it alone

The Popular Opinion On The Foster Care System

A lot of people judge the foster care system, and say how much it needs to be fixed. It is a broken system, there’s no question about it, but for good reason…. THERE’S SO MANY KIDS IN IT. It’s such an overcrowded system, that many children stay in abusive or unfit homes, because there’s no place for them to go. The foster system might need to be fixed, but what really needs fixing is the people having the children that end up dealing with this pain.

It’s easy to blame a sector of the government for our problems, it seems to be the go-to blame game target, but how much can they really do with that overflow? It would help to have more foster parents, that’s a beautiful thing, and for further education about adopting children that aren’t babies, or “fresh from the mom”. If there’s more outreach about saving a child, at an older age, maybe it will help these kids get adopted, and into permanent loving homes.

Though some people like to ignore this fact, there are so many children without loving homes, and that go through life, never having a loving home. I hope in the next decade the world sees this. That they understand how many kids are born, and then after some time, have no place to go, and nobody tries to adopt. No child should age out of the foster care system. That’s a horrible scenario. Nobody should go on without a family, and go through life never having the luxury of seeing families on the holidays or having parents at that wedding. Don’t forget about the kids that so many continue to forget, they deserve far more love than they’ve gotten.

Blaming the Kids

I’ve worked at a Charter school, predominantly filled with children from learning disabilities to behavioral issues, basically students that require a more personalized learning experience in order to be successful. Countless times I was told by teachers to now care, countless times (as I was a 1 on 1 aide) I was told I should lose my job, and that I’m not right for it. Throughout the school year, I fought this notion.

I resent the fact that students, not typically easily to deal with, are given 1/10 of the work as other students, and regardless of the work they’d pass in, they’d pass. They’d misbehave, and still get by. They’d pass from grade to grade, learning nothing. That was my problem, the student I had, even though it was more difficult, I structured his school work so he would have to learn, which was the point of school in the first place. It was more difficult, and his grades went down because I chose his requirements, and I didn’t want teachers to just pass him. This made the email arguments saying I should be fired start, but at the end of the day, when he presented, legitimately learning, he was proud of himself, and he did exceptional.

In private, the child would talk to me about his home life, and his dream of becoming a graphical engineer. The way the school was structured, he would never be able to accomplish this. With what his family would take into account, he would never learn, and he would fail.

Everybody blames the kid, for being misbehaved, for not trying in school, for not being motivated…but when you look into it, it’s not the kid’s fault. Not encouraging your child to learn, ruins their life, it doesn’t just make school difficult for them, they feel stupid and don’t want to try, because they’re sick of failing, and if they never learn, how will they move forward or fight for their dreams? That’s the problem, they won’t.

We went from people stable to become parents, to anyone having children. If you’re trying to do what’s best for your child, you’re an incredible parent…but too often I’ve seen immature parents, who’ve never had any responsibility, and they don’t become mature and responsible when their child enters the world. Too many times I’ve seen parents, scream at their kids, or bash the other parent to their face. Too many times, I’ve seen children, dropped off to anyone, so their parents could go out. I’ve seen children abused, with social workers that let the parents sit in the room for an interview, that nobody defends…then there’s the ones who get out of their homes, to go into a poorly structured foster home, and so many have aged out of foster care, never too receive the loving parents that they deserve.

The quality of parents have gone down so far, it’s easier for parents not working to afford a child, that a middle class couple, because that’s how our system is structured, and kids are suffering, each and every day…but few do anything, and it’s the child’s life and future, that statistically speaking, will be far more difficult because of it.

The Art of Parenting

A person I know posted something I found interesting today.

 

She vented to twitter that “If you DO NOT have a child you have no right to tell a parent how to do their job”. While that’s true to some extent, it raises many concerns.

First of all, if you’re truly doing your best and somebody tries to tell you to do something different when your child is happy, healthy, and loved…then obviously they’re pushing their opinion where they shouldn’t…but in other cases I’m not so sure.

I’ve seen this problem come up many times over the past year…mainly from single parents who are probably over-worked and stressed and from people who choose to not have their children vaccinated.

 

While I understand many parents have different reasons for doing things, where do we draw the line? It’s almost as if children are being treated more and more like property (obviously a select few parents)…and this isn’t to attack anyone by any means but I feel everything should be done in best interest of the child…not by what you believe in…because isn’t that what creates a healthy happy life?

 

I responded to the girl who posted this about people who’ve studied adolescent development intensely, as well as those that work with and are passionate about children’s well being, might have some concerns. Where do we begin to say medical choices based on what you believe in rather than your child’s health is a form of abuse? I’m not sure about every child abuse law nationwide, but Massachusetts has a strict policy against medical neglect. The medical side is of course only once instance where the problem of not being invasive towards someones parenting comes up, but I think it’s one of the most common lately.

 

I feel that if you have a child, you should not be claiming them as your property but rather, be protective, do what they need to strive and grow, and help them find their way in the world.

Don’t Give Up On Giving

Volunteering can be difficult. Nobody has time, we’re all on a budget, and struggling to get by as is, but volunteering brings us a greater sense of accomplishment and hopefulness that we cannot receive from a job. Doing good to do good, will make us proud like nothing else can. Helping those less fortunate than us is an incredible deed, and takes less work than you might think.

Whether you only have an hour to spare volunteering, find a local charity and do it. We want want to end child abuse. Find a local child abuse event, it’s only one day, make the time for it, and those that you help will be forever grateful. Find a problem you’re passionate about, and do positive work to solve it. It will make a difference. To a child that’s ready to give up on themselves, us not giving up on philanthropy and charity will make the difference.

One person can tip the scale of improving child abuse laws, one dollar is the difference between family counseling, one meal is the difference between every child being fed, one phone call can save a child from abuse…Why does all of this matter? Because it only takes ONE to change a child’s life, and not let their future be defined by their abusers.

Don’t give up on Community Service. It might be difficult, but a spare hour once a year can be a time for philanthropy. Even sharing posts or events for promotion can and does make a powerful impact. Keep trying.

“In the United …

“In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults.”

-Thomas Szasz

Every Child deserves to have a childhood. When a child is abused, they’re robbed of that chance. Every child is innocent, and should be careless, and have fun, have an imagination, and dream like a kid is supposed to. We don’t realize that every action we display to a child has an affect on how they’ll grow. The most misbehaved of children, are the ones who need love the most, not the most punishment, and then they will grow into loving and caring adults. Love, motivate, and inspire your children and you’ll be forever grateful of the beauty they’ll give off to the world. They won’t be perfect, but that’s okay, because they’re children. Never forget to let them enjoy being children.

The best philan…

The best philanthropy is constantly in search of the finalities—a search for a cause, an attempt to cure evils at their source.

-John D. Rockefeller

April is Child Abuse Awareness month. Most people that aren’t fighting for this cause don’t know how huge this epidemic actually is. Everybody is busy. Everybody is a student/paraprofessional/athlete/philanthropist, nobody has a bunch of extra free time anymore….but to help a cause so great as making children feel safe with the people that are supposed to love and nurture them is beautiful beyond measure, and takes so little time to at least start.

 

Spread Awareness: Share No Long Silenced Movements blog, or current statistics.

Fund-raise: Buy a box of pinwheels from prevent child abuse america, participate in a walk, donate money to Nolo, there are endless ways to produce funds.

Become More Involved: Educate yourself, volunteer at a nearby organization such as a CASA chapter, and make a difference in a survivors life.

 

There are many ways to help, and everyone is capable of them. There is nothing greater than doing good for a child that will change your life simply by being around you. You can help.

Why You Should Wear Blue Tomorrow, April 4th

Tomorrow is Wear Blue Day!

Wear blue tomorrow to support Child Abuse Prevention. Children without a voice, too young to defend themselves, need people like you to wear blue tomorrow. It’s simple, it’s subtle, but it means so much to kids that feel like nobody is on their side. The more people that follow through, the more recognized prevention efforts will be, and the more support we will get to stop child abuse nationwide. Child Abuse is so often looked over, whether it be in homes, foster care or social workers simply not following through with the work they’re meant to do to help…this day provides us with the opportunity to grow numbers representing our cause.

 

Do what you can for a child tomorrow, wear the color blue, or a blue ribbon, and if anybody asks share with them that it’s to support child abuse prevention, the kinds of abuse, and that not all abuse is seen with the naked eye. If you don’t feel comfortable with your knowledge of child abuse, look through our blog, and share your knowledge of our organization focusing on ending abuse and empowering survivors.

 

 

Difference Makers Idea Challenge & Kicking Out Child Abuse

difference makers

Months ago, the idea of a 1 day soccer tournament to benefit child abuse awareness and empower survivors came into play. A sport gives a child a fun activity to be passionate about, even  when they feel alone, and their loved ones are against them. Soccer is simple because it requires little equipment to practice, great for a child who needs a hobby that they can even do alone if they have to, practice kicks against the wall, or foot skills in their living room, it’s the most universal sport.

At a college in Massachusetts, we’re pitching our idea in the Difference Makers Idea Challenge for current students and alumni. The Difference Makers Idea challenge consisting of educational workshops, help a team with an innovative idea to plan, organize, and find resources for their solution; A challenge that can help others make a positive change in the world.

Tomorrow is our last workshop, with a team meeting to follow, we’re about halfway through the program and challenge, and have a long road ahead, but we’re excited to share some of our projects with you.

Self-Blame & Abuse

Contemplating the moral issues of seeing something you know is wrong being done and conflicted of what to do is typical, and the right thing to do is to always make things right. Seeing somebody being abused and doing nothing about it, is in fact, a type of abuse. Doing nothing is abuse because it causes emotional turmoil to victims. When victims know they’re being abused, and know people have witnessed their abuse and have done nothing, it turns into self-blame. Never let victims feel that they’re guilty, and make victims know their abusers are abusers. When abuse happens in the public eye, and the abuser gets away with it, they’ll eventually believe they’re not abusers, because society doing nothing will teach them what they’re doing is okay.

Help those who can’t help themselves.