no longer silenced movement

Empowering Child Abuse Survivors and Promoting Awareness

Day 10, 11, and 12 of the 21 Day Challenge

Congratulations, you’re half way through!

Day 10- Who was your ultimate role model as a child and why?

Day 11- Does your role model from your childhood still inspire you today, and has your reasoning for that changed?

Day 12- What made you realize you finally needed to take steps towards recovery?

I hope you’re enjoying the questions, and answering them as if you’re the only one that’ll ever read it, in order to make it more effective. Don’t forget, feel free to keep your answers to yourself but if you’d like to share via your own blog ENTER THE TAG 21 day survivor challenge

Thanks for reading!

Day 7, 8, & 9 of the 21 Day Challenge

Now that you’re getting into the flow of the daily writing challenge, I hope you’re started to feel a positive impact from reflection, even though your past can be dark. Remember the darkness from your past, will help you find the light in your life. Keep working on healing, and always be in the pursuit of happiness.

Tomorrow starts day 7 of the challenge, so here’s the challenges for the next 3 days!

Day 7- What is your greatest fear, in terms of child abuse, that you have today?

Day 8- What is your greatest dream pertaining to child abuse?

Day 9- In what ways do you currently, or eventually hope to, work towards ending child abuse, or to better the lives of survivors?

These questions can get personal, so if you’d like you can journal the answers down…also if you’d like to share we always love to hear what you have to say!

Day 4, 5, & 6 of The Survivor 21 Day Challenge

I hope the first three days you’ve felt a little bit more positivity flowing to surpass the lows. Here’s Day 4, 5, and 6. Remember this challenge is for you. It’s to remind you how incredible you are. You’ve gone through something traumatic, something that can easily lead you down a dark path, and even if it did at one point…you’re here now, and that matters. Never stop being proud of yourself.

Day 4: Write one thing you wish you could change about your past, preferably your youth, and think of something you can do to actually work towards that change now.

Day 5: What is the best experience you’ve had since you realized that you’re a survivor?

Day 6: What would you tell someone experiencing the abuse you’ve already endured?

Thank you for your efforts in expressing yourself in such a personal way!

21 Days to Build A Habit

I follow a lot of different Nike accounts via instagram, and since the beginning of January they promoted the 21 days to build a habit notion. While, scientifically speaking there might not be indefinite evidence to support the claim, it’s safe to say if you do something everyday, for 3 weeks in a row, you will make a habit of it…good or bad.

From this I wanted to build a 21 day child abuse survivor challenge, promoting healing and seeing how you’ve grown in a positive way, after getting away from your abuse. While we all deal with things differently, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel helps everyone to l ook past their darkest days. For this challenge, I’m going to give the challenges three days at a time, all involving something you need to write down.

Here’s your first three days:

Day One – Write about a bond you were able to form that came from being a survivor

Day Two- What is a positive trait you developed from being a survivor

Day Three- What is a weakness/struggle that you want to work on that you developed from abuse, and how has it already improved compared to what it was.

Keeping looking out for the next 3 day set of the survivor challenge!

Moore Minutes: learning about perfectionism, struggles, beauty, and being set free

Wear Tragedies Like Armor

work hard     While everybody has experienced at least one form of tragedy, none of us experience the same tragedy. Everyone who was abused as a child has their own story, feels their own way, copes their own way, and experiences pain in their own way.

Your story can seem so similar to the person next to you, and you can tell them you understand, but unless you’re them, you can’t assume you understand exactly what it is that they’re going through.

One thing, every child abuse survivor shares, is the need to cope, the need to not just survive, but the ability to thrive. You cannot get back the childhood that’s robbed from you, that every survivor shares too, but you can live your life in such a way, that you love it enough to make up for it. Whatever you wanted to do as a child, a sport, play an instrument, get singing lessons, dance, learn to cook or sew…all of that you can still do, and you will have yourself to thank for it. If you use your pain as motivation, and go after the dream career you want, and experience all of the hobbies that so many kids are blessed to have, you’ll feel a sense of fulfillment and love for yourself, that is so much greater than your pain. Passion is powerful, and there’s nothing it can’t change. If you can survive abuse, there’s nothing you can’t do, no age that’s too old, and no difficult task that you can’t accomplish.

You do have, within you, the ability to overcome anything, and just because you were unable to experience something in your youth, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve that chance now. Try all of the hobbies you’ve ever wanted to try, and go after your dream job like you need it as bad as food and water. Never let your past weigh you down, the darker your past, the stronger you are, and the greater the person that you’re capable of being.

One

One      As many of you know, in a recent post we addressed child abuse survivors and asked them to tell us what has been the most vital steps in recovering from abuse. What many of you might not be aware of, is the founder of the No Longer Silenced Movement, Nicolette Winn, recently self-published her first in a series of books, aiding child abuse survivors, too live fulfilling and empowering lives after their abuse.

This in no way is saying that anyone forgets their abuse, or miraculously forgets about it one day, and the pain ceases to exist…that doesn’t happen. The weight of tragedy and pain, stays with us for the rest of our lives, but it doesn’t mean that we have to let us destroy us.

This book is available on amazon, I’ll attach the link for your convenience, http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00S75J4F2 .

The book is dedicated to Winn’s younger brother, now 7, in hopes that one day they can build a loving sister-brother bond. Throughout writing the novel, our founder was threatened by both her step mother, and mother, yet she somehow found a way to gain the courage to go through with it anyway, and we couldn’t be more proud!

The book, as our post, is directed to finding ways to encourage survivors of abuse. While some might be stuck or trapped in a way that they cannot reveal the contents of the book, the cover is a way to mask what the book may be about. The book is a way to let survivors know, you’re certainly not alone. Everyone’s story is different but together, we can get through anything.

If anyone you know could use the book, recommend it, share it, let people know the contents are out there, and I hope it helps some of you heal, or someone you love recover.

Thank You

This post will be short and sweet. We just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to respond to our previous post!

All of your insights were very helpful, and we truly appreciate all of the support you give us! If you were unable to see our last blog, we reached out to our audience in order to see what helps you or anyone deal with life after abuse. Everybody deals with things differently, so getting a variety of opinions was definitely insightful. If you’d still like to respond, we would love to hear from you!

How To Recover From Abuse

For this post, we want to hear from you. We’ve had an excellent growing support system for the No Longer Silenced Movement, and hope to continue that momentum. The founder, Nicolette for any who may not know, is working on building a program designated to those recovering from abuse. In order to do so, we need to know what works for you.

What works for one, won’t for another, but combined, we can find a recovery path for everyone, and work towards helping survivors of child abuse further.

So, What worked for you?

If you’re currently a survivor of child abuse, we’d love your insights!

What did you do? Did Therapy help? Any books? What did you feel after? What still helps you today? What activity eases your reminders of your past, while still feeling them?

We’d love to hear from you!

Progress: The No Longer Silenced Movement

In case you’re behind, our founder Nicolette has been hard at work since her big move to Texas and starting Graduate School. While maintaining a busy schedule, she’s continued to manage building and improving the No Longer Silenced Movement, in the hopes of creating easy outlets to help abused children, or an individual whose been abused, feel comfortable coming forward.

Photo: Thank you to Cheryl Beeler Stenmark for introducing us to this awesome book! 

The last page we have to develop for NOLO before piloting the site is a page to help kids go to school. This book is going to be an incredible resource in its development!󾌳

Within this text, she found inspiration to add to the pilot site, helping foster youth find means to an education, but also developing a means for all survivors of abuse to find the resources capable of helping them be admitted to school.

Photo: Our Founder had a great first meeting with our wonderful new advisor at the Small Biz Devel Center in San Angelo, TX. 

She is helping us resubmit out trademark and write a business plan! 󾌳󾌳

She also had a successful first meeting with with our new adviser, in San Angelo, Texas, at the small business development center. Moving forward from this meeting, and with the help of our new adviser, we can begin writing and compiling a business plan, as well as work through the process of completing our trademark.

Most recently, Nicolette completed a second No Longer Silenced Movement Binder. One is focused on how to develop the organization in Texas, thanks to Peggy Rosser at the small business development center. The other, a collection of all the work completed by the No Longer Silenced Movement so far, including events, and media appearances.

Blaming the Kids

I’ve worked at a Charter school, predominantly filled with children from learning disabilities to behavioral issues, basically students that require a more personalized learning experience in order to be successful. Countless times I was told by teachers to now care, countless times (as I was a 1 on 1 aide) I was told I should lose my job, and that I’m not right for it. Throughout the school year, I fought this notion.

I resent the fact that students, not typically easily to deal with, are given 1/10 of the work as other students, and regardless of the work they’d pass in, they’d pass. They’d misbehave, and still get by. They’d pass from grade to grade, learning nothing. That was my problem, the student I had, even though it was more difficult, I structured his school work so he would have to learn, which was the point of school in the first place. It was more difficult, and his grades went down because I chose his requirements, and I didn’t want teachers to just pass him. This made the email arguments saying I should be fired start, but at the end of the day, when he presented, legitimately learning, he was proud of himself, and he did exceptional.

In private, the child would talk to me about his home life, and his dream of becoming a graphical engineer. The way the school was structured, he would never be able to accomplish this. With what his family would take into account, he would never learn, and he would fail.

Everybody blames the kid, for being misbehaved, for not trying in school, for not being motivated…but when you look into it, it’s not the kid’s fault. Not encouraging your child to learn, ruins their life, it doesn’t just make school difficult for them, they feel stupid and don’t want to try, because they’re sick of failing, and if they never learn, how will they move forward or fight for their dreams? That’s the problem, they won’t.

We went from people stable to become parents, to anyone having children. If you’re trying to do what’s best for your child, you’re an incredible parent…but too often I’ve seen immature parents, who’ve never had any responsibility, and they don’t become mature and responsible when their child enters the world. Too many times I’ve seen parents, scream at their kids, or bash the other parent to their face. Too many times, I’ve seen children, dropped off to anyone, so their parents could go out. I’ve seen children abused, with social workers that let the parents sit in the room for an interview, that nobody defends…then there’s the ones who get out of their homes, to go into a poorly structured foster home, and so many have aged out of foster care, never too receive the loving parents that they deserve.

The quality of parents have gone down so far, it’s easier for parents not working to afford a child, that a middle class couple, because that’s how our system is structured, and kids are suffering, each and every day…but few do anything, and it’s the child’s life and future, that statistically speaking, will be far more difficult because of it.